If I Die Before I Wake
by Mystical Sand
Summary: During a near death experience, Mokuba confronts his deceased mother and adopted father.


Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this fic. 

If I Die Before I Wake

Seto Kaiba sat in the hospital room holding his little brother's hand. Mokuba lay unconscious in the bed. He still had not opened his eyes since being hit by that drunk driver, and the doctors could not yet tell if he would make it back. Seto would not leave his side. He remembered how the driver had swerved off the road and hit his brother while they were at the park. The guy was, of course, lucky to have died in the accident himself before having to suffer the older Kaiba's wrath. No one hurt his brother and got away with it.

* * *

Mokuba looked around and saw nothing, only darkness. He felt light headed and imagined he could float off the ground at any minute. Most of all, he felt frightened and alone.

"Seto!" He tried calling out to his brother, "Seto!"

"He can't hear you runt," a voice suddenly came out of nowhere.

Mokuba recognized it instantly. "Gozaburo," he barely whispered. His stepfather seemed to come out of a black cloud of smoke. His eyes were menacing and cold under big bushy eyebrows. His mouth was set in a disappointed frown as if his son had just done something unforgivable. He looked exactly like Mokuba remembered him: completely evil. At least that was how the child always thought he looked after getting to know him. Mokuba instinctively shrank back in fear and threw up his arms up in front of his face as if to protect himself from being hit.

Gozaburo Kaiba glared at him. "I thought I at least taught you some respect, brat. What did I tell you to call me when you came to live at my house?"

Mokuba flinched at the sound of his voice but managed to speak very softly after a couple of seconds. "I'm sorry, sir." That was what he wanted his children to call him. It was just as well. The term "father" never seemed right anyway. Gozaburo nodded curtly. He appeared satisfied for the moment. The young child was frightened and felt his mouth become dry. He almost didn't dare to ask his next question, but he built up his courage. Facing his stepfather, he asked quickly without taking a breath, "How can you be here? You're dead!"

Gozaburo smiled at him sadistically. Mokuba decided the smile looked even worse on him than the frown he wore a minute ago. "So are you, kid."

It took the child a few seconds to understand what the older man had just said. "No. No, it can't be true. It just can't be true," he said more to himself than to the person looking down at him.

"Oh, but it is. Now all that's left is for you to realize the truth and just let go. Accept your fate."

Mokuba looked up at him confused. He could not quite grasp what the man said.

Gozaburo glared at him again and shook his head. "You always were completely worthless. You are exceedingly stupid. It's no wonder no one ever wanted to adopt you."

The last comment hit Mokuba hard. Sure, he was nowhere near as smart as his brother. He knew he never would be, but he wasn't stupid either. He was just as bright as the other boys who were adopted long before him at the orphanage. What was wrong with him? Why hadn't anyone wanted him?

The older man could see by the look on the child's face that he had struck a nerve. He gave him a few seconds to digest what had just been said before continuing. However, before Gozaburo could get his next words out, another voice stopped him.

"Gozaburo! That's enough. Leave Mokuba alone."

Mokuba could not recognize this new voice, but he knew the woman coming towards him from a picture Seto had shown him. She was tall and thin. Her hair was jet-black like his and went down to her waist. Her blue eyes reminded him of his and his brother's. Her gentle face radiated both wisdom and kindness. Mokuba instantly remembered the stories his brother had told him about her. Mokuba starred at her for a moment before asking, "Mom?"

The woman smiled at him and bent down to look the child in the eye. "Yes, honey," she said softly as she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're confused, but you mustn't listen to anything this monster says. He's only trying to hurt you."

Mokuba felt a sense of security with this woman that he thought only his brother could give him. He trusted her instantly. "What's going on?" he asked her. "Where am I? Did I really die? Are you a ghost? Is this a dream?"

She answered him. "You're not dead. You were just hurt very badly, and you need to fight to make it back to your brother."

"I can't. I'm not as strong as he is."

"Yes, you are, Mokuba. You just don't know it. Look within yourself. You can fight this. Do it for your brother and your friends. They're all very worried about you."

Gozaburo sneered from behind them. "You worthless piece of trash. Do you really think she wants to help you? You're the reason she died brat. You killed her. If you hadn't been born, she would still be alive and with her husband and the only worthwhile son she ever had. Her family would still be together. Seto never would have had to live in that orphanage and look after some little throwaway child nobody wanted. He could have been happy. He wouldn't have the responsibilities or lead the scarred life he does now. Face it, everyone's lives would be so much better if you had never existed."

Mokuba's mother looked her youngest son straight in the eye. "Don't listen to him. It's not true."

The damage was done however. The young boy knew that his stepfather was right. What he said made perfect sense. Mokuba tried to never think about his role in his mother's death. He could not justify himself for it and so tried to think about it as little as possible. He had always felt guilty about taking her away from Seto and his father. If he had not been born, maybe everyone else's lives would be better now. His father might have died in the accident anyway, but at least his brother and his mother would still have each other. Seto never would have had to go live in the orphanage, be adopted by an abusive man who wanted to train him to take over Kaiba Corporation, or take care of a younger brother who had only caused him trouble. Even at the orphanage, Mokuba had only hurt his big brother. Several families wanted to adopt Seto; they thought he was a genius. No one wanted Mokuba. No one even wanted the genius if he had to come attached to some worthless little kid. Seto always refused to leave him, and that only caused him misery in the end.

Mokuba was faintly aware of his mother trying to comfort him, but he could not believe her. He knew his stepfather was right. The child jumped back away from her and shrugged off her hand from his shoulder. He began crying. "He's right!" Mokuba managed to get out through his tears. "It's all my fault! I killed you!"

The young boy was in hysterics now, but Gozaburo Kaiba still managed to talk above the noise. "It's not too late. You can still make up for a small part of this. You can still help your brother. Just give up your life now. Don't try to fight it. You know he'll be better off without you."

Mokuba's breath came in short gasps now because of his sobbing. Maybe his stepfather was right. Maybe Seto would be better off if he wasn't there anymore.

* * *

Back in the real world

The heart monitor by Mokuba's hospital bed started beeping wildly. Seto panicked as doctors rushed in to tend to his brother, and he was ushered out of the room. For all his money and power he was completely helpless to save the one person he cared about.

* * *

Mokuba's mother ran over to him suddenly and bent down to hug him. "Shhh," she soothed him gently. "You must try to calm down. Your emotions here have a direct effect on your condition right now." After a few minutes, Mokuba did calm down enough to talk to her again. She slowly scooted back to look her son in the eye again but kept both of her hands on his shoulders. She smiled at him and said, "It's okay now. I sense that your condition is stable again. Seto is back in the room with you. He hasn't left your side since the accident. Your big brother really loves you, you know? There's nothing in the world more important to him than you."

Gozaburo laughed bitterly. "Don't be fooled by this. You're a constant annoyance to your brother. All you ever do is cause him trouble."

"That's not true. You're the one who helped him to believe in the heart of the cards. He started to understand what that means in his dual with Pegasus because of you," the child's mother countered instantly.

"Your capture put his own life in danger in the first place," Gozaburo stated.

"It was his choice to go after you. Seto loves you very much. He was willing to risk ending his life during his dual with Yugi to get the chance to save you."

"And look where that got him. He lost to Pegasus and got his soul sealed in a card too, kid. Yugi had to save the both of you."

"He knew the risks before the dual even started, and he didn't care about that. All he wanted to do was save you. It was a completely selfless act. Mokuba, I honestly don't know what your brother would do without you. You bring out the good in him. You give him a reason to move on, to be happy, to see the good in the world. In the end, he needs you just as much as you need him." She pointed to Gozaburo. "Even after everything that this madman did to train your brother and to make him hate the world, he could never turn him against you. The bond you share is too strong."

Mokuba looked into his mother's eyes then. What she said comforted him, but he could not be completely at ease as long as Gozaburo was still there. "How do I make him go away?" he asked pointing to him.

"Gozaburo cannot have any power over you here if you do not let him. I know that you feel guilty about what he did to your brother when Seto tried to protect you from him. You feel guilty about Seto being adopted by him and even about my death. But you need to realize that none of that was your fault, Mokuba. I know you can do this. Just believe in yourself, believe that you're strong enough."

Mokuba stared at his adopted father. He glared at him and imagined he was forcing him to slowly disappear back into the black cloud of smoke. Gozaburo narrowed his eyes at the child and frowned, but it did no good. Soon he was gone.

Mokuba turned back to his mother and smiled cheerfully for the first time since he had been here. "I believed I could do it," he said. "I believed that I could be strong and not let him have any power over me now that he's dead, and he disappeared."

His mother smiled at him. "I'm proud of you, honey," she said. "Now it's time for you to go back. I know you can do it. Just believe that you can fight for your life and win. Do it for Seto, and for me." The little boy smiled at her and held out his arms. She bent down to hug him one last time. "Remember that I'll always love you, Mokuba, no matter what. I'll be watching over you and guiding you always." She got up then and walked away into a soft mist, but she turned to wave at him one last time before disappearing into it.

Mokuba was alone then, but he did not feel afraid. Instead, he just concentrated on his brother and getting back to him. He could feel his body getting heavier and became more aware his surroundings and that Seto was near him.

* * *

At the hospital

Seto began to fall asleep when he suddenly felt his brother lightly squeeze his hand. He looked down at him and smiled. For the first time since the accident, Mokuba was starting to open his eyes.

The End


End file.
